I had become addicted to booze after protracted abuse of it. For ... 5 years I had to drink to live and this became more accentuated with each passing month. It would get to the stage where I could not function at any level until I had a few drinks. I was not able to pick up the phone, write the weekly report, sign the report or undertake anything without a drink.

Those first few drinks were wonderful. Literally the case of a moth becoming a butterfly and I could then do anything and had such inner peace and confidence. If only I could have stopped after 3 or 4 but I had to get smashed. I did not mind been inebriated but others did not enjoy it. The time I hated was when I was sober, like in the morning. I felt so inadequate and afraid and these feelings evaporated after a few drinks. I was trapped in a squirrel cage which just went round and round and round.

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