I was shocked at the suggestion that I should book into the clinic for fourteen days. I did not consider myself to be an alcoholic. In fact I did not know what an alcoholic actually was. I finally consented to try out-patient treatment. The Counsellor told me that I would have to attend meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and that their next meeting was the following evening. I argued about attending and she eventually told me that if I would not attend I could not be enrolled for treatment. Deep down inside me I was feeling desperate and knew I had to have help and that I was close to the end of my tether. I stopped arguing and agreed to go to AA meetings.The interview had drained me and I had to go to a pub. A few drinks quietenned my panic and fears. But as always, I drank much too much...

I knew deep down that I was on the verge of a breakdown and I was very frightened. I managed not to drink on the 10th June and I went to the AA meeting. I had prepared a story to tell the people at the meeting but nobody actually quizzed me as to why I was there. They did not look like alcoholics to me but they spoke too much about God for my liking and I thought that AA was a quasi-religion. However, somebody said that alcoholism is an illness and that alcoholics are sick and are not bad. I am sure that it was this thought that kept me from drinking on the way home and got me back to the next meeting.

Close Window